Getting up

Sometimes we have to get away. We hate to accept the things we so badly want to change that we have to escape to get away from them. But is it escaping or just delaying? And will the escape make the problem much worse? It seems so. Sometimes we just don’t like the way something sounds. But by any other name would still be the same. Why is there always something? We are all acting, all playing on this stage of life, all hiding or concealing feelings or desires. We are all limiting ourselves. We all have troubles we cannot confess because saying them out loud will make it real. We all want to excel in life and move on the ladder to success but what if the ladder is on the floor, how do we get it up? I find myself wondering whether escaping is worth the hassle?

If we’ve come to end of all our roads, explored every avenue and found dead ends everywhere, and we know what we have to do to open the opportunities up but are too scared or too concerned to do so, how can we move on? How can we improve our future if we cannot prove who we are to ourselves? And if we are good on paper then why is it that in reality we have many troubles? There are so many who seem to be so happy with their ‘bad on paper’ lives. They seem to live trouble free and because their aims are much lower and easier to attain they are always satisfied with what they have. Is it possible that lowering your standards can improve your life? And if we lower our standards then what does the future hold?

It sounds like a lot of questions, but sometimes you just need a lot of answers. If we run from our troubles why does a bus hit us all the time? Is it possible to run and keep on running? I don’t feel that running should be an option, being brave and facing our troubles is not either though, or so it seems. If we do face the toughest challenge of our lives so far and get through it what will have changed? It seems that we’re certainly not scared to confess, but scared of the uncertainty of change. What guarantees can we get that nothing will change? None.

And there lies our trouble. If Tom chooses to admit, will Dick and Harry continue to be synonymous with him, or will the unbreakable break? If the unsinkable Titanic can sink, then it seems true that Tom, Dick and Harry will be separated. What does it take to open our eyes? Who are we fooling? Are we really all acting? Are we all having these and other troubles and cannot confess? And if so when is the interval? Because in a show as long as life, in a theatre like London we all need a break from the truth.

If it proves difficult to raise the ladder and no one is around to lend a hand, do we choose a different ladder? Is that the defining moment that makes us take off the mask and end the show? Or is it just life telling us to make a change, choose another ladder and break free?
And then, when you come back and all the troubles that followed you add to the existing ones at home, was it all worth it? Yes. Because even if we wanted to change our decision we can’t, its been and gone. Done. Face the music, and dance.

After all, if we are all acting and the world isn’t throwing us any lifelines then how can we not keep up the game. There are always excuses, workarounds, and blame to be placed elsewhere. And using these is the only lifelines we have. At least for now. Because we live in hope that all these bad times will end. And sometimes hope is worlds only lifeline.