Trouble at sea…

In the depths of hearts we know who we are. In the depths of our minds we know what we want to be. So which wins… Who we are or who we want to be? But why should this be such a public decision? Why are there so many questions? Why do other people care so much? And why when we have so many troubles in our own lives do we try to trouble other peoples?

When people become involved in your life and start to wonder more about you, you cannot help but be defensive, especially if they sail into unchartered territory and especially if your trust for them is still wavering offshore. However, sometimes, these people appear on our radar for all the right reasons, because their questions come so sudden and our answers are so unprepared they cannot help but stir emotions and these emotions may just let you know the truth. Like a war at sea, the Navy can prepare and prepare for attacks, but they are only as good as their weakest link. This implies that if we practice enough we can fake our answers, but even if we lie we feel the truth come up so far that even if it doesn’t make it out of our mouths, it will sit on the tongue.

So what if what we say is what we want? Is it right to be wrong? You know it doesn’t actually matter! Because we have only one life, we have only a certain amount days, months and years here, so if you want to be something; go on ahead. Because there is nothing better than being true to yourself. If you want to be you then there is no law, no moral wrong, in fact nothing that is against that. If you feel there is something you need to keep back, then that’s your choice, your decision and your prerogative. Just don’t feel the pressure of people.

People are nosey, people get involved, and people enter conversations for all the wrong reasons. They want to come out of it with something to tell other people when there is nothing that is anything of theirs to tell. Not unless you make it so. Follow your heart and your mind, be who you are and who you want to be. Why do we have to choose? There is no need if we can have both and we can. Because in life money is our only limit, we have all the time in the world, all the courage in the world and we dream for the world. So show the world you.

We can dream of what we want to be or we can step up and take action, and only by doing something can we make ‘who we want to be’ ‘who we are.’ Then we have we won the battle, the mist will clear, the fog will climb, the smoke will deteriorate and the sun will rise. The sails are up and the wind is blowing; advance.

Who you are is who You are.

Are we three or free?

William Wordsworth once wrote that ‘life is divided into three terms – that which was, which is and which will be.’ Three is such a hard number to predict, for the mathematicians who took years to understand the triangle, for the historians who are still trying to understand the pyramids and for astronomers who rely on the fallacy of three so much to understand the future. Whether it’s seeing three people you know on the way to work, the three drains that you can’t walk on or the group of three friends we’re a part of, we experience this difficult number daily and can’t escape it. But is a bad thing or good? In life, love and London is three a crowd?

For some of us we’ve always been stuck in the curse of three friends; the friendship triangle. It seems like an equilibrium that you can’t just escape. When you’re young, it doesn’t hurt so much, but when we grow up it’s constantly on our minds; like the white noise we can’t escape, the pain we can’t get rid of. We all have the concept of three in our lives; there are always two more people around us, two more people thinking about us, two more people on our side. But the friendship triangle is never an easy ride, for we slide in and out of each others triangles moving from one to the next in our lifetime, we may stay permanent in friendships for a long time, or move on with a speedy turnover. Maybe that’s the easy way out of the difficulty, to move through friendships at speed. But what if we can’t, or at least don’t want to move on. When its finally time for you to move triangles, the rust will make a tough ride to let go, so is it worth the ride for the fall? And where do we go, do we have to find the new triangle, do we get ‘recruited’ or is it an automated process?

The pain comes in threes also, first comes the fear, the wondering and the consumption of energy on worry and contemplation, second comes the tears, the loose and hurt, the floods and the feelings, the seething and shattered glass. Finally comes the emptiness, the hole in your gut, the space in your heart, the need to move on with the persistence to stay put.

Naturally, we all move on, we cannot all stay in the same place, be motivated by the same things and feel the same passions for everything. We all have our own lives to lead and cannot buckle on to someone else’s because if we do, when they shake us off the fall could be a long way down. So we have to let go sometimes even if letting go is the hardest thing to do, because right around the corner I promise something good is coming. And the pain will only hurt as long as you let it.

Three is a difficult number, emotional, periodical and painful. But three can also be the best times of your life. Three isn’t out to get you, it is just a cycle that has to happen, and through the experiences and rust we learn who we are. And who we are is the best knowledge of all, because then we know in our heart of hearts that what we was, that what is and that what we will be.

Inspire yourself

The changing of the seasons...

When the leaves shine through for the first time since October and the sun stays with us for longer and longer the time of new beginnings has arrived. The time of new life is upon us, the plants grow gently and sway in the light breeze the sky emits a lighter blue and in general the mood is light and airy, no cloudiness, no storms and no troubles. Yes, the spring brings new life in us all. However it seems this new life by the winter will deteriorate, expire and fall from the tree. We seem to change our moods like the seasons, but is it the moods we are changing? The leaf that grows back on the tree; is it a completely new person or just another new start? In life when we move on do we change who we are, or what we are?

There are times when we look at ourselves in the mirror and believe that we don’t even know who we are any more. The person who stares back at us has become something they never thought possible. We wonder have we lost our identity, have we changed for the worse, are our friends who our friends actually are? If we feel guilty then there probably is something wrong, someone we’ve hurt, someone we’ve lost on our way. What we really need is the changing of the seasons to lighten the mood. What we need is Spring.

We need it because it brings with it a new beginning to change us, to help us realise again who we are. But who are we? For scientist this is genetic, for priests its religious views, for Doctors it’s our health. And none of these are material things. So why do we judge so much on looks and styles? Is it because to ourselves, who we are is what we look like? No, honestly I’m not sure why we judge on looks, maybe it’s something we do to feel powerful and better about ourselves, and sometimes jealousy. But look into a mirror to find yourself and you don’t look at your clothes, you weren’t born a person with clothes so why would you. No, to find yourself you look into your eyes, deep into the windows of your mind to find out where you belong and what you believe, you do this because maybe, just maybe what we believe and ultimately who we are is pre-written for us in our genes, in our hearts and minds. And any attempt to change that will jus bring us back to where we belong because we know deep down that its wrong. I believe there is no way to recreate ourselves and end up happy, take Michael Jackson, he changed so much, but is he truly happy? That’s why change is so hard, because you have to like the change to accept it, and if you don’t then ultimately it may not be worth it at all.

So yes, we all follow the seasons with our moods. The summer brings the relaxation and the fun, the autumn brings the wind down and often the goodbyes, the winter brings the illnesses and the depression and spring like the cycle of water, like the bus route, it comes round again and brings us to the place we always want to be and be the person we always wanted to be, where the dreams have no limits, the future has no end, and the canvas though stained from the previous year, is clear enough to fill once more.

Happy Easter!