The way we were

In London there are invisible limits. Despite being one of the financial centres of the world and considered a home of opportunities, to those who reside in it, it isn’t anything more than a homing ground. People around the world are constantly escaping, immigrating, moving. But to people in London there is no moving it seems the farthest we’d move would be to the edge of the city, but still could not move outside a stones throw from their beloved London. But what is it? Why do we complain about it everyday and yet could not be anywhere else? Why is it so hard to escape? And how did we get here? The British we’re once the world’s explorers, discovering handfuls of countries, building an empire and sharing our way of life with the world. We gave the world parliamentary systems, law and order, trade and many more ideologies. So why is it that the discoverers of the modern world find it so hard to even discover ourselves? It seems that Britain has lost its beliefs, its culture. Has becoming such a diverse country meant that we are unrecognisable? I look around today and find myself wondering should I stay or should I go now?

This will not be a politically correct post about immigration, more a metaphorical approach to the question ‘who am I’? Britain has a history like no other, a monarchy that stretches many millennia and has been ruled by most of Europe, but we all have histories, we all have the moments we’d rather forget, the times that we wish we could change and that other place we wish we would have been when we were at the wrong place at the wrong time. History is something we can’t outrun; it will always follow us but not always hinder us. We can change the perception of our history if we can change for the better for tomorrow. There are moments in British history like the years of slavery that bring shame to those who implemented it and stood by while it happened. But Britain has the pride of saying that it was wrong and today Britain is known as one of the first abolishers of slavery, although that doesn’t make it right how people were treated and those that died, it does show that Britain acknowledged what was wrong with the world and made it right. And today we see that decision all around us, whether Black, White, Asian or ‘other’ we walk among the same streets in our multicultural society. So my previous statement is wrong and like Britain I acknowledge it. Britain is not losing its identity, but gaining a new one as time moves on. Today you may be something that you wasn’t yesterday and may or may not be tomorrow. Our identity isn’t what we were yesterday but who we are today, and what we want to be tomorrow.

So is this happening around the world? Are there just the select few that make it out of their hometown and follow their dreams? Or are everyone’s dreams answered eventually? Is that possible? Is life such a great mechanism that we all get what we want in the end, in the west end the musicals tell us that we should chase our dreams and have a happy ending, but the stories of the east end are that of broken dreams and no prosperity. So is it a tale of two ends, or in life are the endings always the same?

Inside us all we have our own political ideas, our own opinions and our own beliefs, in our world and in our life’s we generally stand together despite our differences and although we don’t always like who we’re near we understand that we have to co-exist and that a little happiness along the way can make the road a lot smoother. There are some who turn this into an all out war, there are those wars that are cold, and there are those that are brutal and bloody. But although we fight we must all come together and believe that we are here for a reason and we might not know what it is yet but one day when we fulfil it we will know our work is done.

So escaping London, might not be all it’s cracked up to be, after all if we feel that attached to it then there must be something there. We can’t choose where were from, we can’t choose who we are, because who we are is not a physical thing, it cannot be touched, it can only be known. And although it cannot be touched, one person, in the deepest part of their heart, can feel it. And we must be thankful for our history because our history has got us here and as long as we learn the lessons of yesterday we can progress to the dreams of tomorrow. In life there are those special things that when around us make everything okay, in London these are the tube stations, the markets, the newspaper stands, the view from the bridge. These are the things that make us comfortable and these are the things that make us smile. Because life is like the city you’re from, and for the time being, despite its flaws, my life is fabulous.

Broken Fortunes

When things don’t go exactly as you believed they would you begin to understand the saying expect the unexpected. But why is it that things you completely expect to happen never do? Why is it what we expect escapes us? And that makes us believe that we should never expect anything, but that would just be dull. We never expect to win the lottery but there are people out there who win, therefore we have to expect something. And that’s the game of gambling, we can’t possibly know the outcome of life but we have a guess and hope it pays off. However, there are some very lucky few that with a little reputation behind them get everything they want. Is this something that will last forever or, will our time come, will we get everything? What is it about reputation that makes all the difference? If its true that any publicity is good publicity then why aren’t we all famous and fulfilling our dreams? Recently I’ve been wondering why does great public relations get us a great personal relationship?

It’s not often that I get to writing about relationships, but its not often that I get the chance. Why is it that when we think we’re close to winning the gold medal it slowly slips to silver? And even though we got ourselves a medal it doesn’t feel as good and it doesn’t taste as good as the real thing. When there is someone you like it seems the lesson has been learnt, never should you hold back with your feelings, restricting ourselves will never help us win, and we’ll probably never forgive ourselves. We cannot know what taking the other path would be like, we have to accept the path we are on and assume control, but are we ever in control?

If, like they say we have to expect the unexpected, how can we? Since the unexpected can’t be expected; we therefore we have no way of knowing. That is why despite what we know now we cannot assume we know about tomorrow. This week a psychic on Oxford Street offered to read my fortune and upon considering I came to the conclusion that even if this man knew what was in store for me, would it really benefit me to know? If I knew what was going to happen tomorrow would I care living today? The final nail for me was when he said ‘I don’t tell nothing bad.’ Because although we cannot want bad things to happen we have to understand that there will be times where we struggle and if there wasn’t none then this guy could not really know about tomorrow. And so I declined, because tomorrow is something I must work for today.

There are trials in life that we must all face, the devastating losses, the breakups and break downs, the cold winters and gloomy summers. There are days when we wake up to realise mountains that held high are crushed and fallen, there are days when structures indestructible become no more, the titanic, the twin towers, Lehman Brothers. Could any of these be expected? But this is life. Like a business cycle, like any cycle, there will be tough times, there will be tough decisions, companies will come and go, people may die and our feelings will be like the stock markets; falling and in decline. But there are glory days, there may be few, but these are the days of life. This is living.

You see, we can’t always expect the best, because it is not always available. We can love with all our heart and not be loved back. And PR can only be short term, celebrities don’t stay clean forever, they can’t. Everyone has his or her own inhibitions. They are on their highs while others are on their lows. The world holds a delicate balance of happiness. And if like me you’re on the wrong end of the cycle there are times to come. There are times of love to come. There are times of great glory, and if I’m just serving my harsh time in demise for the past couple of years, then the cycle must be close to an end and I can only hope that forever is a time of happiness, because happily ever after sounds good and I don’t need no psychic to tell me that.

Fall or Fool?

There comes a time when we look out the window and we notice that the world is changing around us. The clear blue skies are faded with clouds and dotted with rain, the green green trees will soon bare their skin and the winds change to chill. Yes, its been a year, and fall has arrived. But is there a clue in the name ‘fall’? Is it time for the great times of the summer to end? If the world changes around us then will it change us? Or do we decide our own fate? The question is is it time for fall or are we the fool of fall?

In a world where there are so many mysteries of the past, present and future we all question our ability to change. Do we step into the unknown? The mystery of the future. Do we stay on the same tracks? Do we live our life or liven up our life? Is it our choice? There are so many questions, so little answers when making the decision. Is it time to step into the unknown or carry on the path. We are sure that winter will follow autumn will follow summer will follow spring, but can we be as sure that the decisions we make are right? And how we will know if they’re wrong?

Sometimes there comes a day, maybe a week, maybe a month or even a year where we will experience some of the greatest moments of our lives, sometimes we will sense the opportunities to take, and we will know by pure coincidence or by pure faith that the decision we make is right. And sometimes that’s all we need. A little faith. There are those who don’t believe, they don’t feel our passion, they don’t feel our need, they don’t feel. And even if there is no one who feels, apart from you, then that is all you need.

Not to say that you won’t be tested along the way, if the doubts around you aren’t tests already. There are decisions to be made along the way, we can’t have an easy ride it just wouldn’t be an adventure without them. But we can smooth out the bumps and cushion the collisions. Friends, family and memories can spare us the hardship and push us, propel us from dream to reality.

With a new season comes a new change, the leaves may begin to fall, the temperature may fall but there is no need for life to fall. While the seasons may have changed and the view from the bridge may be completely the same it all looks so different, and that’s because even if we’re standing on exactly the same spot we are in a completely different place. Its amazing what a year can do, we can become something we never knew, reveal something that we always kept hidden or live the life we always liked the sound of. We can come closer to a dream or develop a new one. And if we’re reaching for the stars our head could surface the clouds, or surpass the sky.

Yes, the seasons are changing, the world is spinning, time is ticking, and all the while if we’re not moving then we’re standing still. And standing still in a moving world is like going backwards. If life is what happens while your busy making other plans then a fulfilled life is one with lots of plans, and change is what happens when you’re chasing them. The window may look different but mirror even more so. We can decide our fate if we try hard enough, and try we must because the day has come to tell us that life is too short.

For Tom.